One thing’s for certain: happiness is key to positive and healthy relationships. I mean, why would you even choose to pair off if the pairing makes you unhappy?
Well, loneliness, for one. Commitment, for another. Societal pressure, for a third. But common sense says you should never force a relationship that makes you unhappier than being alone.
But at the beginning of a relationship, how do you know whether a lifetime of happiness or misery is in store for you? One way is to watch for these 12 surefire signs you will never be happy with your partner.
- You Don’t Trust Them
Relationships are built on trust. If your partner seems untrustworthy – whether you’ve caught them in the act or they just have a shady aura – then you will always be suspicious. This may be paranoia on your part, but paranoia still impedes your happiness, so you must assess your trust issues before building a relationship.
- They Don’t Trust You
If the coin is flipped and you’re the one who isn’t trusted, this could lead to unhappiness as well. Your partner may claim you’re cheating, when you’re not; they may be extremely jealous, without cause. Again, trust is integral to a relationship, so if your partner doubts you, you’ll feel hurt by this distrust, particularly if you’ve done nothing wrong.
- You Don’t Like Each Other
Love, love, love. We always talk about relationships in terms of love. But, guess what? It’s just as important to like the one you’re with. Liking your partner’s personality, sense of humor, and their general being is simply essential to relationship goals.
- You Don’t Have Anything in Common
While opposites do sometimes attract, it’s also necessary to have some common interests, common values, common personality traits, etc. If you don’t, then you’ll likely find that in short time, you’ll be living separate lives.
- You Don’t Respect Each Other
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha Franklin spelled it out for us, and it’s one of the pillars of a healthy partnership. If you don’t respect one another, then you will use and abuse each other. This is not happiness.
- You Avoid Them
Your partner texts you, and you ignore it. Your partner shows up at your door unexpectedly, and you pretend you’re not home. If you’d prefer time alone over being with your partner, then that’s a surefire sign you won’t be happy spending a lifetime with this person.
- You Fight Often
It’s normal – and even sometimes healthy – to fight in a relationship. Misunderstandings arise, and you must hash them out and move on. But if fighting is a regular thing, then this isn’t going to be a walk in the park, and you certainly won’t be skipping hand-in-hand.
- You Fight Mean
Even worse is if you cannot fight fair. While sometimes it’s difficult to be the moderator of a debate, while you’re debating, it’s important to keep a level head and not take cheap shots at your partner. If you frequently aim to hurt this person to their core, you probably don’t love them.
- You Can’t Forgive Them
Forgiving is as integral to relationships as fighting. Once you’ve hashed things out, pardoning each other’s faults is the obvious next step. A failure to forgive leads to pain and misery and a constant open wound.
- You Don’t Communicate
Communication is also one of the cornerstones to a strong partnership. If you can’t communicate with each other – or if you refuse to – then you’re not building a relationship; you’re destroying one.
- Nagging is Constant
While asking your partner to do something is a must in some cases, telling them to do it, over and over again, like a broken record, will leave your partner feeling irritable and will leave you feeling ignored.
- You Don’t Get Along with Your Partner’s Family
If your partner loves his/her family, then you must at least get along with them. Your partner shouldn’t have to play referee constantly, and you shouldn’t make him/her choose whose side to be on. If you do, discord will ensue.
While some people try to force a relationship that just isn’t working, regardless of the pitfalls they may face, it’s important that you get out early if you see a lifetime of misery looming ahead. Otherwise, you may find yourself the unhappiest you’ve ever been.